Blog/Ask Karen | Karen Reed Hadalski

Posted by Karen Hadalski at 30 June 2012

I’m late with this week’s blog due to the round-the-clock care my dog, Serena, requires. A serious eye injury and infection has required numerous medical procedures which have not (yet?) worked to heal her.

We’ve only had this old girl a few years but have all come to love her. She’s the only pet I haven’t raised from kitten or puppyhood and this experience has been a totally unique one for me.

Her history, past medical problems, age, etc. are all mysteries. Vets guess her to be about 10 and her behaviors and fears lead me to believe she has endured an unhappy life of neglect and abuse.

Integrating Serena into a family that included a 5 year old, still puppy-like collie and an imperious cat was not easy. But, she worked hard to fit-in and things eventually clicked. (That is, until we adopted a new, 7 week old kitten. Then it was back to square one).

While I certainly didn’t make an imprint on or influence Serena’s developing personality, there were no surprises regarding who she would eventually “become.” She was given her name because, compared to our Odin, she was, indeed, “serene.” Happily, there was no house training or puppy-mischief to worry about.

For sure, this dog had never been indulged. She needed to be taught to play with a tennis ball, that quality dog food was more appropriate and nutritious than table scraps, and that her “place” was with the rest of the family rather than alone in the yard or bathroom–where she self-isolated during her 1st few months with us.

Because she apparently lived such an uneventful and isolated life previously, our old girl savors every experience and kindness with puppy-like zest and appreciation. All it takes is a soft voice, a hug, or singing a song with her name in it to cause her to close her eyes, smile a crooked little smile, and make a throaty–almost purring–sound of contentment.

Her greatest delights are car rides, taking a walk in the woods, and rolling around in the grass with her very own ball in her mouth. When we bought her a bed, she seemed to think she would get into trouble by climbing into it. So, for days, she would eye it longingly, but sleep on the floor beside it, instead. Finally, our coaxing paid off and she now rolls around and stretches out in delight when she beds-down on her own, soft sleeping space each night.

She treasures and parades around with her rawhide bones; and treats–well, an after dinner Greenie or biscuit sends her into a state of ecstasy. Odin has taught her to not be afraid of toys that make noise, and she eventually began to enjoy and share her playthings rather than hoard them.

While I don’t regret raising and nurturing any one of my past or current animal companions from infancy onward, Serena has opened my eyes and my heart to the joys of sharing life with a pet that has a history, but chooses to give herself to you, anyway. I dread the thought of losing my beloved Odin, Lily, Serena, or Chance. But, should the time come when we again find ourselves “empty nesters,” instead of living out our later years devoid of animal companionship, we will look for a pet to adopt that is closer to us in age, energy level, and life expectancy. Thanks to sweet Serena.

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Courage

Posted by Karen Hadalski at 21 June 2012

Category: Courage

We often hear the phrase: “They live by the courage of their convictions,” used to describe people who go against the flow; live life on their own terms; or buck convention to fully express their individuality and adhere to standards they’ve set for themselves, rather than conform to “majority rule.”

As I tie-up loose ends on my next book, I am reminded, anew, that the ten women I write about–people as diverse as first century Celtic queen, Boudicca; slave and emancipator of slaves, Harriet Tubman; actor-producer Drew Barrymore; and everyone in-between–appeal to me so much because of the inner courage they possess and actualize throughout their lives.

The opposite of this would be to live a “Better safe than sorry” kind of life, I suppose: Never express a controversial opinion; never question social norms; strive to “fit-in,” and, above all else, don’t make waves.

From my perspective, the problem with this type of personality is that it is usually timid and insecure (therefore, extremely self-centered); often ingenuine and duplistic (read: “Can’t be trusted.”); and always boring. So, why would anyone choose to be insipid (or,what many call, “nice”) rather than to become self-actualized and live by the courage of their convictions?

Perhaps, when children, every attempt to express themselves openly, honestly, and uniquely was called “disobedience” and met with harsh retribution by parents and other authority figures? Perhaps, at an early age, they discovered that “obeying” and receiving pats on the head, praise, and earning the title: “good son,” or “sweet little girl” was the kind of easy, ego-centric life they desired? Or, maybe they were just lazy.

I mean, it takes a lot more time, energy, and thought to question and examine every attitude, behavior, moral code, and convention before adopting it as “right” or “acceptable,” just because someone tells you it is, than to simply fall into line and keep your mouth shut, doesn’t it? It also take courage.

This leaves us with a big question though: How does one child attain the self-knowledge necessary to grow a conviction in the first place; and, why does another simply acquiesce and become a non-questioning conformist? I see this as a crucial question to ponder–especially where raising, teaching, and influencing our children and youth is concerned. Any ideas?

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Who’s “superior?”

Posted by Karen Hadalski at 14 June 2012

Category: animals/pets

Last weekend,” I’ll Have Another,” winner of the Kentucky Derby & Preakness, was pulled from running at Belmont due to a leg injury. Had he competed and won, he would have been the first Triple Crown champion in 34 years.

I applaud this colt’s owners for making the moral, compassionate decision on his behalf. Many others have not been so fortunate.

It was disturbing to read responses to this honorable decision, however. The following sentiment, expressed by the last Triple Crown winner’s jockey, Steve Cauthen, pretty much sums it up: “I think the whole racing world is just dying to have another great horse come along and capture their hearts.” (www.washingtonpost.com/sports)

Never mind that I’ll Have Another won the Kentucky Derby over 15-1 odds and, 2 weeks later, won the Preakness Stakes. I guess that wasn’t enough to capture any hearts. It seems the only colts who give enough to satisfy racing fans are those who die, themselves, in order to do so: Like the rare filly, Eight Belles, who finished 2nd in the Kentucky Derby but was injured and euthanized right after her finish; or, the “much loved” Barbaro who , after being injured during the Preakness, suffered with his injuries for eight long months before finally being put out of his misery.

Greyhounds used to entertain dog racing patrons don’t fare any better. Essentially, they live a hard, isolated existence, brought out of their pens only long enough to run. Then, when they begin to slow down– if not rescued almost immediately– are unsympathetically euthanized.

Using animals for our needs, entertainment, and financial gain is by no means limited to the racing industry. Since the beginning of mankind’s occupation of this planet, we have been using; abusing; eating; killing for sport, hides, fur, pretty feathers, wall mountings, ivory tusks; imprisoning and training for our amusement; racing until they drop; and, now, destroying the habitat of the animal kingdom.

We do this without conscience and with a sense of absolute “entitlement,” referring to the Book of Genesis when our morality and ethics are called into question.

I don’t know what kind of self-delusion allows mankind to perceive itself as superior to the rest of Creation. Our history certainly doesn’t provide evidence to support this point-of-view. As a species we have wreaked more destruction on the planet, other species, and our own kind than any other living creature.

Why not spend a week really looking around, listening to the news, observing the attitudes and activities of your fellow- man as a visitor from another planet would? Emotional distance and objectivity provide the clarity and perspective unconscious immersion lacks. In sociological terms, this is called being a “participant observer.”

Maybe if we were all schooled in this capacity, instead of “100 ways to feel good about ourselves,” the world would become a better place–for all it’s inhabitants.

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Optimism II

Posted by Karen Hadalski at 7 June 2012

Category: karma

Preparing to speak about Karma at the Optimist Club, today, led me to consider Pessimism, as well.

It seems to me that pessimism must be born out of a belief that the world is unjust and unfair; a sense of individual powerlessness; fear of random occurrences which are viewed as “bad luck” or “bad things happening to good people;” and a sense of victimization.

Such a world view would never be held by one who understands and accepts the law of Cause and Effect–Karma–to be a perfect, impersonal, undeviating fact of life.

Optimism, on the other hand, springs from a solid belief that our world is governed by fair and just natural and spiritual laws. In such a world, no one is a “victim” because the Law of Reciprocity insures that we reap what we sow–always. Every thought, word, and deed; every cause we set into motion results in an effect we will have to experience–either in this life, the world beyond, or another life on earth. This is not punishment but, rather a just and natural method by which to return us to a state of equilibrium/homeostasis. Nothing in life “just happens.” There are no “victims.” And human beings are powerful in that it is we ourselves who create the life experiences we live–both the good and the bad.

Such a world view would only be held by one who understands and accepts the Law of Cause and Effect–Karma–to be a perfect, impersonal, undeviating fact of life.

Below is the Creed of Optimist International. If you find it appealing, I’m sure you will be able to find a local branch near you:

Promise Yourself:

To be strong so that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel there is something in them.

To look on the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements in the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to self improvement that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

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Intuition

Posted by Karen Hadalski at 31 May 2012

Category: Spirituality

Have you ever wondered what the difference between feelings, instinct, thought, and intuition is? Events of this past month have caused me to do just that.

Our sweet old dog, Serena, has been experiencing painful eye, nose, and gland problems. After a couple bouts of antibiotics and eye drops didn’t work to resolve these issues, her veterinarian began to speculate about possible underlying causes (including a cancerous tumor) and recommended an invasive diagnostic test which would have been painful, expensive, and require general anesthesia. In addition, she suggested I take her to an opthamologist.

I listened, discussed, researched, thought, sought other opinions–and prayed. Though I certainly wanted to resolve Serena’s problems, the speculations and recommendations proffered by her vet, except consulting with an opthamologist, just didn’t feel right to me.

To make a long story short, in spite of my “better instincts,” I called to make an appointment with the internist who would perform the dreaded test. Fortunately, he was out of town.

I then made an opthamologist appointment. As it turns out, our girl has a severe case of “dry eye.” Her ducts can no longer produce tears and this, in turn, affects her nasal passages and glands as well as her eye. Though she will require eye drops and a food additive the rest of her life; and, if left untreated, could lose her sight, this is a manageable condition and a far cry from cancer.

The opthamologist and her diagnosis “felt right” to me, immediately. After one night of prayer to St. Francis (I definitely believe in prayer) I woke up with an intuitive certainty that the problem was with her eye and was being exacerbated by allergies. Without seeking approval, I began to give her Benadryl and made an appointment to have her top coat shaved, which always alleviates her worst allergic symptoms.

The eye specialist agreed with these decisions, explaining how pollens and other pollutants are especially painful and destructive to eyes and nasal passages that cannot produce a protective barrier or flush these out.

This is what I was reminded of by this experience: NEVER IGNORE YOUR INTUITIVE PERCEPTIONS; NOT EVER!

Every single regret I’ve experienced in life has been the result of over-riding my intuition with intellect, “feelings,” or simply ignoring it.

So, why is intuition more true, pure, and reliable than feelings, instinct or intellect? The distinction is explained simply and clearly by Abd-Ru-Shin in The Light of Truth–The Grail Message (Bernhardt, 1971):

“Feelings” are produced by the physical body–which generates “instincts” in order to survive. These “instincts,” guided by “intellect,” produce “feelings.” Therefore, feelings are bound by time & space, and are, like the intellect, a product of the physical brain and materiality.

“Intuitive Perception,” on the other hand, is above and beyond the confines of time and space. It emanates from Spirit and will always remain pure and clear. It speaks to us through that “still, small voice within” which, though always active, is often ignored.

Unfortunately, most of us don’t hear this voice until a strong emotional surge– brought on by extreme grief, suffering, or joy–pushes through the crust of intellect or cloud of emotional feelings and allows it to be heard.

The goal of most spiritual practices is to put us back in touch with our Immortal Self–through prayer, contemplation, meditation, and discernment–so that we will once more be able to recognize and connect with our Intuitive Perception.

I can’t think of a more valuable self-gift than to learn one of these disciplines and practice it on a daily basis.

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Aging Gracefully

Posted by Karen Hadalski at 24 May 2012

Category: Boomer Generation

An out-of-town relative in her 70’s visited us this past weekend. What a model for staying youthful and vital–regardless of the date on your birth certificate–she provides!

We’ve led totally different lives; and, on the surface, it sometimes appeared to me that this life-long New England native, who never married or had children and remained in the same job for four decades led an uneventful–even boring–life.

Yet, when I peer beneath and around these “vital statistics,” I find interesting qualities which connect and interact synergistically to keep her young.

First, while many of us can’t wait to get away from our home town and birth family in order to forge an independent identity and become more worldly, Joanne stayed-put. Through the years she dug deeply into her family’s history and ethnicity; learned as much as he could about her home town; and became involved in many local organizations and activities.

She traced her Ukrainian/Polish roots and learned as much about her ancestors’ lives and culture as possible. She visited Ellis Island to learn what she could about their immigration experience and is excited about a meticulously planned journey to Poland she will be making this September to learn even more.

Though she never had the desire to investigate any religion other than the one she was born into, the Catholic faith, and involvement in her local parish, play a big role in feeding her soul , keeping her grounded, and imparting a set of values and morals to live by.

As a child, she came to enjoy books as the primary vehicle by which to experience other cultures, countries, and lifestyles as well as to stimulate her mind and open her heart. At a time when it wasn’t all that common for girls to attend college, she obtained both a bachelor’s and master’s degree in education and embarked on a long and fulfilling career as a reading specialist and elementary school principal.

She is still an avid reader who keeps her relatives and friends well-stocked with interesting reading material; is an active advocate and promoter of my writing; and volunteers at her local library.

Though she never had children of her own, in addition to the thousands of students she influenced and still follows with great interest, she is a generous and involved “auntie” to her relatives, godchildren, and the neighborhood kids.

And, though she lives alone, she doesn’t spend much time alone due to her active lifestyle and coterie of friends.

She loves roses, water, and cats and stays plugged-in to nature through gardening, pets, and time spent at favorite New England beaches and shore towns.

Her outlook is optimistic and interested; her personality: interesting, involved, generous, and fun-loving. She is someone who is loyal to those she loves, can be depended upon in a pinch, and always keeps her word.

Clearly, there are many ways to enjoy life’s riches and age gracefully. To my mind, Joanne’s path provides an admirable model for the more sedate, serene and less kinetic among us.

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Economic Karma

Posted by Karen Hadalski at 17 May 2012

Category: karma

I can’t recall a time when the world, our country, or my family and friends have been–of necessity–more focused on money than during these past few years.

THINGS: Exerting the time and effort to earn money to acquire them; going shopping to buy them; then, spending more time, effort, and money to keep them clean and shiny, in good operating condition, and well repaired is, to me, a gigantic waste of time, effort, and money.

There are so many more meaningful, life-enriching activities to focus on than consumerism and surrounding one’s self with lots of inanimate “stuff:” education, travel, cultural activities, nature, animals/pets, volunteer work, reading, gardening, spending quality time with loved ones–to name but a few.

But, it takes financial security and unfettered time to enjoy even these non-materialistic pleasures.

A long time ago I read a tiny book titled, Leisure: The Basis of Culture. It’s thesis is that no great art, literature, philosophy, religion, government, scientific discoveries or society ever emerged from cultures in which individual members needed to spend every waking moment working to acquire the necessities of life.

Without the leisure to think, learn, create; become broadened, deepened, skilled, enlightened, and awakened; humans are nothing more than dull functionaries focused entirely on fulfilling their “animal needs,” day in and day out.

History and anthropology validate these assertions. It is only when we first have what we require to survive and thrive that we can carve-out the time necessary to engage in the higher level activities that lead to important cultural contributions and an enlightened populace that has the potential to make their society “Great.”

But what is the best way to insure that every person is given such an opportunity? The news is replete with stories of riots and demonstrations in Europe where government entitlements and subsidies are being decreased; thousands of homes are in foreclosure; parents must work 2 or 3 jobs just to keep some kind of roof over their kids’ heads and food in their bellies; people have worked and saved their entire lives only to see their 401K’s disappear, pensions cut, and worry that social security and medicare might not be there when needed; and prices are sky-high, on everything from food and gasoline to medicine and college tuition.

Is the answer more and bigger government? A society in which the rich are mandated to support the poor? A subsistence standard of living for everyone? A turn away from entitlements and back to the self-reliance once prized by our ancestors? Endowments given only to the brightest, most innovative and industrious among us so that private enterprise will flourish and lead to more and better jobs for all? ………………….? Many questions.

At this point, only one thing seems certain to me. As a species, we are being forced to face and resolve the effects of the economic causes we have set into motion decades ago. There is no sane way to ignore these any longer. The coffers are bare. There is no place to go and no one to turn to for loans. The benefactors and bail-outs available to rescue the millions drowning in debt are, themselves, running dry.

How we determine to respond to the “economic karma” we are now facing will affect many generations to come. Let’s determine to finally take responsibility for our individual circumstances and stand on our own two feet again–one-by-one and nation-by-nation. Only then will we be in a position to assist those who are truly unable to fend for themselves. Only by doing so will we free ourselves from a karma of scarcity and reclaim the natural state of abundance intended for all Creation.

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Optimism

Posted by Karen Hadalski at 10 May 2012

Category: karma

I was surprised to receive an invitation to speak about Karma by the Optimist Club of Virginia Beach this week. I was surprised not because I don’t think an understanding of the Law of Cause and Effect leads to a healthy, optimistic life and world-view, but because my experience has been that many still view karma in punishing, negative terms.

The law of reciprocal action is anything but negative. It is a totally just, logical, impersonal and infallible law demonstrated throughout nature. And, whether we like it or not, as physical creatures we are part and parcel of the natural world and subject to the same laws that govern every other part of material life.

The fact that we are spirits ensouling a physical body does not absolve us from taking full responsibility for our thoughts, words, and deeds and experiencing the effects of every cause we have set into motion.

I think the reason some view the law of karma as harsh and unjust is that they fail to take into account the fact that our spirit enters into a physical body and life experience bringing with it a long history for which we are totally responsible and accountable.

Life is a continuum, not a flash-in-the-pan, one time “event.” At the end of each life cycle, we step out of our physical body and our soul simply goes home to its natural world of non-matter and continues to learn, grow, act, create, and set into motion both positive and negative causes in the ethereal realm– causes we bring with us into future incarnations.

While nearly everyone understands the “What goes around, comes around” fact of life to be true–we often wish it wasn’t. It is awesome and scary to realize how much power, authority, accountability, and responsibility we possess over our individual life direction and circumstances. And, it is much easier and more comfortable to blame other people, Powers, and possibilities for our predicaments than to take responsibility for them ourselves.

However, if we were not in control of our life experiences we would be nothing more than puppets, pawns, and victims. Now that would be truly scary!

Fortunately for us, the perfect Law of Reciprocal Action does exist as a method by which to learn and regain the original state of purity and enlightenment we started out with as creatures made in God’s image. The God-quality of free will is an inherent aspect of every human spirit. But, we obviously need to learn how to use it in the service of goodness, light, and the upliftment of all creation rather than for personal gain, ego-gratification, and self-aggrandizement. I mean, just look around! And, the only way to truly learn anything is through direct experience.

Without free will and the redemptive gift of karma, we would be pathetic, impotent creatures indeed. But we aren’t; and we have every reason to be grateful and OPTIMISTIC about life and our future.

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Perspective

Posted by Karen Hadalski at 4 May 2012

Category: Uncategorized

A friend recently sent me a video of the NASA Space Station flying over Earth and the Northern Lights. During my 20’s I lived and worked as a VISTA volunteer in Alaska. When a particularly brilliant display of these Lights was forecast, I, along with a few other volunteers and two Athabascan Indians who acted as our guides, packed-up our dog sleds and headed to a deafeningly silent, remote spot where this extraordinary event could best be experienced.

That night was definitely a Peak Experience which I will never forget. In fact, there isn’t much about my time in Alaska’s Bush country that I have forgotten through the intervening years.

My log cabin was small, so I spent a lot of time out- doors. When I sat in silence, taking in the vast Arctic sky, with stars the size of basketballs, I was awed by the awareness of how minutely small we are–yet, how loved and significant we must be in the mind of our Creator to have been given such an unutterably magnificent world in which to live.

I often took time from my community development work to rest and just listen to the wind and wolves howling in the distance, while opening myself to the energizing warmth of the midday sun and taking in the astonishing beauty of the dark forest blanketed in crystalline whiteness.

The more time I spent in the natural world, the more I began to experience a sense of connection and relatedness to all of life. As I learned to allow myself to simply Be, I became aware of a deeper Self that had nothing at all to do with my identity as “Karen.” This Self was more authentic, solid, and timeless. It felt grounded and ethereal, at once, and linked me to both the world of creation and its Creator.

When I left Alaska, I embarked upon a serious study of Metaphysics and the mystical aspects of world religions. Returning to college, I became an English major and focused on Ralph Waldo Emerson’s philosophy of Transcendentalism.

Living with Athabascan Indians and really coming to know them, despite our cultural differences and language barrier, was another turning point for me. Because of these differences, my Alaskan friends and I had to connect through eye and facial expressions; touch; a kind of mind reading; and a combination of English, Yuk, and sign language.

This intense efforting to really “get” one another’s meanings and feelings, combined with the common experience of surviving a harsh winter, sharing our resources, and teaching and learning from one another created strong relationships and bonds of affection. My way of relating to others was transformed forever.

Living off the land and being cut-off from merchants and modern conveniences imparted a strong sense of self-reliance and taught me that it is possible to survive–even thrive–with very little money and very few things. As a result, I can honestly say I haven’t spent a moment of my life being anxious about not having “enough” or not being able to “make it”.

Stepping back and observing life from a new and different perspective–be it vicariously, through a Space Station video; or, personally, by immersing one’s self in an environment, culture, or life-style different than what we have been raised in and become accustomed to–is something I would urge everyone to add to his or her “Bucket List.” It can be life-altering.

As a first, tiny step, why not go to a quiet place, turn off the lights, and click on this link: http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap120305.html

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Life and Death

Posted by Karen Hadalski at 26 April 2012

Category: Reincarnation

During this past year I have lost three friends, my chiropractor, and my next-door neighbor. Yesterday, another friend was admitted to the hospital in critical condition.

Losing loved ones is hard. With each passing, our life experience is diminished and our hearts are left with one more hole that used to be filled with love for and connection to another Being.

Throughout human history, mankind has created just three theories to explain life and death. Every world religion and philosophy expresses one of these, either exactly or as a “variation on a theme.”

The first is that of the Materialist–one who believes that physical existence is the be-all and end-all to life. Man is the highest intelligence in the universe (really) and this intelligence is contained in the human brain. When the body dies, the brain dies, and that human being is no more.

The second is that we are souls, created at the moment of our physical birth, and meant to live-on as souls after the death of our flesh and blood bodies in the realm of spirit. Christians believe that, depending on how good or bad we have been during one lifetime, our souls will live-on in either a state of perpetual bliss (Heaven) or eternal punishment (Hell).

The third theory is that of Reincarnation. Inherent in this worldview is the belief that each soul is a unique expression of its Creator; and, once created, can transform but never die. If the free-will decision of a soul is to experience physical life, it will be given the opportunity to enter into many bodies and life-experiences in order to learn, grow, and express itself until a state of spiritual “Self-actualization” is reached. These cycles of rebirth will come to an end when we come to “Know ourselves to be ourselves and yet be one with God.” (Edgar Cayce) “Rewards” and “punishments” come by way of experiencing the effects of all we have caused through our free-willed thoughts, words, and deeds–our karma. Each will, eventually, attain re-union with God.

The consolation most of us cling to when losing a loved one is that we will be together again one day–in the Afterlife; or, in a future incarnation. Only the Materialist, who believes that when our one physical life ends, “That’s it,” must deal with the added burden of realizing he or she will never–ever–be with their spouse, child, or friend again.

If you know such a one, blanket them with compassion and hold them especially close during their time of grief.

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Courage

Who’s “superior?”

Optimism II

Intuition

Aging Gracefully

Economic Karma

Optimism

Perspective

Life and Death

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